Perfect
by Tomafyre
Summary: He was so tired of all the insults coming his way. He just wanted to be a hero. Wouldn't it be nice to fly? Suicidal!America


**Listen to Beating Heart by Ellie Goulding for effect guys. ;)**

* * *

_**Eyes make their peace in difficulties  
With wounded lips and salted cheeks  
And finally we step to leave  
To the departure lounge of disbelief  
And I don't know where I'm going  
But I know it's gonna be a long time  
And I'll be leaving in the morning  
Come the white wine, bitter sunlight**_

He was supposed to be the hero.

When he was younger he would remember those times he watched Superman, batman or any kind of man with the heart of gold. Bright sparkling sky blue eyes looked up the screen hopefully, and soon, a seed of hope sparked somewhere in those eyes, straight down to his heart.

He would be the hero.

He thought the world was perfect. He believed in fairytales, happy endings and that life was a beautiful thing.

But then that perfect world started to crack.

_**Wanna hear your beating heart tonight**_  
_**Before the bleeding sun comes alive**_  
_**I want to make the best of what is left, hold tight**_  
_**And hear my beating heart one last time**_

The Revolutionary War.

He saw England's face. He remembered every second those bright green eyes started to pooling with despair as he raised his bayonet to his caretaker's –_no, _his brother's face, eyes clouded with nothing.

Emotionless.

No one could be emotionless even it smacked them in the face, hit them with a chair and laughed at them.

It had hurt him too._**  
**_

_**Before daylight**_

_****_America sat at the roof's edge, feet dangling and swaying, looking down at the vast land he loved so much.

Too much.

How much had he given up for it? Sacrificed for it? Suffered for it?

So much.

But the smiling faces of his citizens, the laughter and the joy and the freedom always made those thoughts melt away.

But not this time._****_

He was tired, he was tired to be the hero. He was doing his best. Why did everyone hate him?

"_America you stupid git! You should've just stayed a colony!"_

"_So young…such an idiot."_

"_When will you learn that your ideas make no sense?"_

"_I hope you explode for all those burgers you eat."_

"_Fatass who likes sticking his nose in other people's business."_

"_We don't need your help."_

Clenching his eyes tight, he grit is teeth.

"_You're no hero."_

That was it.

Another meeting gone awry. Another push to the edge.

That was all he needed.

_**The canyon underneath the trees  
Behind the dark sky you looked at me  
I fell for you like autumn leaves  
Never faded, evergreen  
And I don't know where I'm going  
But I know it's gonna be a long time  
'Cause I'll be leaving in the morning  
Come the white wine, bitter sunlight**_

_****_

Standing on the edge, he balanced on the balls of his feet. Who would care if he was gone? England made it clear he had hated him. France said he was plain fat and useless. Canada? Canada would probably just forget him as payback for the times he'd forgotten the Canadian.

In fact, his brother would probably really happy he was dead. He'd take over for America, get noticed. And he'd get his idiot annoying brother outta the way.

Checking his phone, he flipped it open, and clear words displayed on the screen.

5:04, July 4, 2013

Simply perfect.

_**Wanna hear your beating heart tonight  
Before the bleeding sun comes alive  
I want to make the best of what is left, hold tight  
And hear my beating heart one last time**_

_****_

Tensing his muscles as he got ready to jump, he thought…

Was it fun to fly?

After all, his symbol was an eagle wasn't it?

_What would it feel like…_

He tilted himself slightly forward, and small footsteps echoed behind him, shouting his name.

_Did they come to watch the show?_

A tear involuntarily made its way down his cheek as everything went in slow motion.

This is it.

He was going to fly.

_**I can't face this now everything has changed  
I just wanna be by your side  
Here's hoping we collide  
Here's hoping we collide  
Here's hoping we collide**_

_****_

His eyes snapped open as a warm sensation was felt on his waist, and soon, he was pulled back with an unknown strength as he was heaved out of harms way.

"You _idiot!_'

How many times had heard that?

Sky blue eyes looked down at the crying person before him.

"Mattie…?"

Canada was plain sobbing as he clutched his dear brother's body like a lifeline.

"What were you doing?!" He screamed.

America didn't answer, looking around to see England standing frozen a few feet away, face as pale as a ghost.

"I was going to fly…" America said brokenly, the realization that his attempt to jump was stopped. "I was going to be a hero."

Canada hiccupped, not loosening his grip, but holding him even tighter. "_For who?! _Who would you be the hero for?! _Heroes don't make others sad remember?!"_

"For you guys…" America answered, eyes half-lidded. "Wouldn't it be nice to lose a fat, childish, annoying, idiotic American?"

Canada's eyes widened. Before he leaned his head on his brother's shoulder, soaking it with tears.

"It would be nice…"

America's thought were comfirmed and his already broken heart was about to shatter.

"…If only I knew someone like that." Canada continued, emitting a broken choked sob.

America turned to the small blond burying his face in his hair.

"It wouldn't be nice if I lost a confident, amazing, kind, caring and strong brother who is the only person who noticed me as a person."

America hummed, half lidded eyes slowly closing.

Another pair of arms wrapped around his neck, and a head snuggled into his hair.

England sniffed, "You really are an idiot…"

America couldn't take it anymore.

He cried.

Down right crying like a child, making whimpering noises as the salty water dripped down from his eyes, as the hopelessness and sadness left with every tear.

"You're doing fine, lad." England cried. "You're doing great."

_**Wanna hear your beating heart tonight  
Before the bleeding sun comes alive  
I want to make the best of what is left, hold tight  
And hear my beating heart one last time**__****_

Blurry eyes woke up to a white room.

"Where am I…?" America asked himself.

"_**Surprise!" **_

A mix of different voices greeted him. Eyes widening, he sat up, looking around the room.

The whole world was there.

"Happy Birthday Ve~" Italy greeted him, clinging onto Germany, who was holding a blue birthday cake, the words: _Hero _, written on it red.

Germany sighed at his companion, before turning to America and giving him the smallest of smiles.

"Happy Birthday, America-san." Japan said quietly, a smile on his lips as he held his favorite camera (Gods knows what was in there) "England-san said you passed out from exhaustion a while ago. You were almost late for your surprise party."

_Passed out? Surprise party? Exhaustion?_

America's eyes widened, as a hand wrapped around his shoulder. "You should feel lucky, for the awesome Prussia has graced your day of spawning!"

"What the hell is a 'day of spawning?!" Hungary shouted, a party cap strapped on her head, frying pan in hand.

Prussia stuck his tongue out, "Obviously the day he was born! Didn't you learn that Liz? You see, when daddy nation and mommy nation love each other very much-"

_BANG!_

America laughed to himself, as a hand poked him from the side.

"Happy Birthday brother." Canada smiled, a gift in his hands, and he placed it on his countertop.

"…Mattie?" America asked, unsure.

"…don't do that again alright?" Canada looked at him, smile wiped off.

America didn't answer.

"Hey burger bastard!" Romano shouted, now holding the cake. "Blow your candles already! So we can eat this fucking thing!"

Spain nodded beside him, "Hm…yeah. I wish it was a tomato cake~ right, Lovi?"

"Get the fuck off me!" Lovina shouted as Spain hugged him from behind. Canada gently took the cake away before Lovino smashed it into Antonio's face.

At the corner of his eye England entered the room, loud with nations shouting at each other.

Soon, party music engulfed the room.

America slowly got out of his bed, and watched the nations, who stood awkwardly at the sides, not knowing what to do. Smiling to himself he went up to the stage, putting his discarded bomber jacket off. Eyes followed him, as he took the mike.

"**Is everyone ready to par-tayyy!" **He shouted into the mike, raising a fist in the air.

A loud 'yeah' was replied, and he grinned, "**Well what are you waiting for?!"**

The music blasted even louder if possible, and soon, the nations warmed up and started dancing, and before he knew it, the Bad Touch Trio were already drunk, Belarus was chasing Russia around, Italy was hiding behind his brother from drunk Germany and Spain was cheering him on.

Laughter and shouting filled the halls, and America hopped off the stage, watching from a distance, as he heard a conversation.

"…_America always did make a room lively."_

"_Yeah."_

"_He's a good guy."_

"…_Yeah."_

The single agreement set him off, and he wiped at his eyes, and his brother and England leaned next to him. England sighed, "It's too loud."

America laughed, truly, for the first time in days, and leaned down to Canada's ear.

"…alright."

The world wasn't perfect.

But that was okay.

_**Wanna hear your beating heart tonight**_

* * *

**Lol I had no idea where that came from, but I wanted to make something angsty.**

**america is the perfect target/slapped**

**Don't worry America we love you :DDD**


End file.
